Sora and His Diary
by EssTelle
Summary: Sora has a journal and he's dancing to E40. Wait what?Story shall continue!


I am portraying Sora as a retarded kid living in Destiny Islands. He so wishes he lived in the USA.

**ENTRY 1**

Hey this is Sora. I just got back from my "adventures" and I'm home with my parents now. Kairi and Riku went home too, so its just me. My mom is freakishly happy to see me. Well, I kind of feel sorry that I left everyone for a long time. My keyblade is longer than Riku's (chyea!) I just got an American version of John Tucker Must Die, and the main blond chick really sounds like Namine (Kairi's Nobody). I like muffins. They are so good! Its so freakalishious, huh? Oh I got that word from Riku. I'm gonna be using it more often. Yeah, I got to go because my mom is singing opera and I HAVE to stop her. Bye, Sora.

**ENTRY 2**

My parents are gonna homeschool me so I won't get held back, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! Oh, and I soo think Kairi wants me badly! I like her hair. I like the fact she has her sneakers laced up all retarded. Selphie is weirder (if thats even possible). She told me I have a size 100 foot. I hate her. I'm fifteen and I don't have a cell phone, how messed up is that? Okay so E-40 is playing on my ipod and I really have an urge to dance so Bye bye, Journal!

**ENTRY 3**

CRAP YOU WONT BELIEVE HOW STUPID MY MOTHER COULD'VE BEEN! I was dancing to this really old song "Tell Me When To Go" and Kairi came and my mom had to be stupid and let Kairi go upstairs to my room when she KNEW that I had just gotten out of the shower. KAIRI SAW ME IN MY BOXERS; thank god I wasn't wearing tidywidies. I'm going to die of embarrassment and come back to life to haunt Riku. Oh, Kairi was totally watching me while I was dancing and I saw her from the corner of my eye. The weird thing was, was that I said: "OH SNAP, WHY ARE YOU HERE, NAMINE?" Why'd I call her Namine? Its Kairi! "Sorry, Roxas." Kairi said. Now my head really hurts,

I need to take some asprin. Bye, Sora.

_**A PAGE SNATCHED FROM KAIRI'S DAIRY THAT SAME DAY:;**_

_Wow; 1: Sora has a nice chest and muscles, 2: Who would've known that he likes to listen to E-40 and dances like a black-boy? And 3: Why does God bless me to see him in his boxers. Halleluah!_

**ENTRY 4**

I'm never going to Wet Seal with Kairi ever again. ASHLEY TISDALE WAS THERE!!! Now I'm really gonna have nightmares tonight. That chick is S-C-A-R-Y! Did I spell that right?

-Sora

**ENTRY 5**

I saw some old grades of Kairi's, and she scored a 77 on one of her math tests. Wow, and I thought I was dumber. She did, however, get all 100's on her History quizzes and essays. I love Hot Cheetos. I think Roxas is a wigger. GO TOKYO!

**ENTRY 6**

My mother finally gave me the "sex" talk. I'm never gonna eat whipped cream or hold my keyblade the same way every again. :/

**ENTRY 7**

Tidus met this girl named Yuna. I think he likes her, but he's too much of a Beyonce-lover to admit it. Hehe. Kairi looks so good in bikinis! No wait- she's just my friend! I've got to stop thinking that way. Riku flirts with waitresses at IHOP, its funny because then they spill coffee on him. Haha! Ever since my mom started homeschooling me, I'm never EVER gonna sing this song:

"I'm in love with my teacher,

She teachin', I'm learnin', My ruler is burnin'

I'm in love with my teacher!"

BAY AREA MUSIC ROCKS! I wished I lived in America instead of Destiny Islands. Kairi says that Canadian boys are cuter. What a 2-faced meanie. I thought she loved me! Oh, and I am so not a BITER!

Sora

**ENTRY 8 **

The singer Cassie does look good, but Riku acts as if she's a goddess or something. EW! I still think Kairi is cute. Oh, and Mickey's letter was too sloppy to read. I hope that I can bash those retarded Heartless/Nobody freaks with my keyblade again! Riku told me he's part Mexican. I was like, "what the hell's a mexican? You mean A Nobody? Roxas is my Nobody, Xemnas is Ansem's Nobody, is mexican, Namcie's Nobody or somethin'???" According to Tidus (Tiddie-Widdie), Selphie DID hit on me. I'm scared. Maybe I should get a Myspace. Should I?

**ENTRY 9**

RIKU GOT A PIMPLE, RIKU GOT A PIMPLE, RIKU GOT A PIMPLE, RIKU GOT A PIMPLE, RIKU GOT A PIMPLE, RIKU GOT A PIMPLE, RIKU GOT A **PIMP**LE!

See I knew that I was way sexier than him! Beat that! I found a picture of Selphie and Kairi, and boy Selphie sure does look fatter. Kairi said that Roxas is sort of an EMO kid. So? Its not my fault, Namine's the one that looks like a freaky angel...so maybe opposites do attract? Whoever made the song Umbrella...I'M GOING TO KILL THEM! Leon keeps singing that song over and over and over, Who the heck is Rihanna? I hope Tifa catches Cloud soon. Cloud really needs some wifey-counselling, I mean hell who would run away from a chick like Tifa? That dude must be really retarded. But I think he's cool. RAZZLE DAZZLE TWINKLE SPRINKLE I BE GLISTENIN! (Another one of Kairi's random sayings) If only I could kiss her...waaaaa!! -Sora

**ENTRY 10**

_THIS IS SELPHIE AND I JUST JACKED SORA'S DIARY. AND NOW I KNOW WHAT GOES ON IN HIS LITTLE SPIKY HEAD, MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!_

**Selphie is busy doing her evil laugh and accidentally bumps into a traffic light pole, becoming unconscienous for a few seconds. She forgets everything, including the fact that she read Sora's journal. Sora luckily gets his journal away from her before she wakes up**

**Author's Note: I think I won't continue this journal thing. It was all written in an hour, but yeah I think that E-40 is a really old song, but I still like it. "Go stupid, Go dumb-dittiliy-dumb!" **

**Just imagine Sora trying to put stunna shades on and singing Tell Me When To Go. How funny. **

**Yeah so review if you think he's a loser. Just playing! Hehe. Love Always, EssTelle 33**


End file.
